You Hate Movies

Save or Kill: Actors

We're playing Save or Kill once again, this time with like-named actors. Faced with two actors who share a first name, who would you save if it meant killing the other? Tom Hanks or Tom Cruise? Michael Fassbender or Michael Keaton? On and on the list goes.

Featuring: Bethany Allen, Josh Porter, Patrick Porter, Peter Nikiforov, and Tyler Hanns.

I'm afraid we've lost track of Spoilers. When we mention an actor's name, it stands to reason some spoilers for their films may follow.

The Visit / Best of Shyamalan

In this episode, we have two big items on our agenda: First, to argue out our reaction to M. Night Shyamalan’s new found-footage horror flick The Visit. Secondly, we rank M. Night Shyamalan’s films from best to worst. If you haven’t made it out to see The Visit just yet, you may want to skip to 38:45, at which point we move on from major spoilers for The Visit and keep things more general.

Featuring: Garrett Holmes, Josh Porter, Patrick Porter, and Tyler Hanns

Major Spoilers: The Visit (until 38:45), The Sixth Sense, Unbreakable, Signs, The Village, Lady in the Water, The Happening, and After Earth.

Mild/Abstract Spoilers: Seven Pounds, Black Swan, The Dark Knight, Chronicle, Night of the Living Dead, The Strangers, The Wizard of Oz, The Blair Witch Project, Cannibal Holocaust, Cloverfield, Crazy Heart, The Amityville Horror, The Ring, The Grudge, It Follows, Stuart Little, The Empire Strikes Back, Rosemary’s Baby, The Exorcist, Saw, Paranormal Activity, Friday the 13th, the Netflix original series Daredevil, the novel I Am Legend, and only minor spoilers for The Last Airbender, because none of us actually saw it.  

Best of Christopher Nolan

We have tasked a committee with the harrowing challenge of ranking director Christopher Nolan’s filmography from best to worst.

Featuring: Abi Porter, Bethany Allen, Josh Porter, Mike Jensen, Patrick Porter, and Peter Nikiforov.

Major Spoilers: The entire Christopher Nolan filmography.

Abstract & Minor Spoilers: Total Recall, Flight of the Navigator, American Psycho, American Hustle, Reign of Fire, The Machinist, Prometheus, Gravity, Juno, Shutter Island, Godzilla (2014), Jurassic World, Up, Friday, Selma, The Muppet Christmas Carol, Children of Men, Buried, All is Lost, Phone Booth, Chappie, and Zangief from Street Fighter 2. 

Summer Box Office Results

At the beginning of May, we focused on our annual tradition of attempting to predict the top 10 highest grossing movies of the summer. The summer movie season is over, the results are in, and the winner is not who we expected.

Featuring: Abi Porter, Bethany Allen, Josh Porter, Patrick Porter, and Peter Nikiforov.

Spoilers: Mad Max: Fury Road, San Andreas, Straight Outta Compton, Ant-Man, Pitch Perfect 1 & 2, Mission: Impossible 1-4, Minions, Inside Out, Avengers: Age of Ultron, Jurassic World, The Dark Knight, The Empire Strikes Back, Phase 2 of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, Fern Gully, Star Wars Episode 7, Avatar, Honey I Shrunk the Kids, Jurassic Park, Bridesmaids, Super 8, Wall-E, The Incredibles, Finding Nemo, and Big Hero 6.

Alien vs. Prometheus

While you’re enjoying today’s episode, do yourself a favor and pay youhatemovies.com a special visit! We’ve launched an all new website where you can peruse our helpful episode guide, check out bonus content, comment, explore profiles for our hosts and contributors, even suggest an argument for an upcoming episode! 

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As for this episode, we’re celebrating Ridley Scott by getting mad at Ridley Scott. In our midst we have Alien enthusiasts and Prometheus detractors, as well as a few Prometheus apologists. Will this ongoing debate over the logic and quality of prometheus ever be put to bed? I think you’ll agree we settle things quite nicely.

Major Spoilers: The Alien franchise (including Prometheus). 

Minor or Abstract Spoilers: Splinter, Mission to Mars, Men in Black, Star Trek: Into Darkness, The Terminator, The Lorax, The Jungle Book.

Feel like we’re overlooking a quality argument? Suggest an episode at youhatemovies.com

You Hate Chappie

We are, once again, taking critics to task over their collective disdain for Neil Blomkamp’s third film, Chappie.

Featuring: Bethany Allen, Josh Porter, Patrick Porter, Peter Nikiforov, Tyler Hanns.

Major Spoilers: District 9, Elysium, Chappie. Minor/Abstract Spoilers: Panic Room, Mad Max: Fury Road, All Is Lost, Phone booth, Buried, The Hills Have Eyes, Short Circuit (1 & 2), Interstellar, it Follows, Dredd, Bicentennial Man, and The A-Team.

E.T. vs. Super 8

We’re pitting one of film history’s all-time classics—the Stephen Spielberg masterpiece, E.T.—against the J.J. Abram's 2001 film clearly inspired by it, Super 8.  

Featuring: Josiah DePaoli, Garrett Holmes, Matt Hughes, Mike Jensen, Peter Nikiforov, Josh Porter, Patrick Porter, and Tyler Hanns.

Major spoilers for E.T. and Super 8, as well as minor/abstract spoilers for: Psycho, Interstellar, Mac & Me, Peanuts, 2001: A Space Odyssey, The Muppet Movie, Mad Max: Fury Road, Wall-E, Star Wars Episode I, Independence Day, Austin Powers, Cloverfield, White Fang, Harry and the Hendersons, The Iron Giant, Goonies, Indiana Jones, and Thomas the Tank Engine (again).

Save or Kill: Summer Blockbusters

In today’s episode we’re presenting 20 different summer movie blockbusters to a panel of our hosts, two at a time, and forcing them to decide which one they would save if it meant killing the other.

Featuring: Bethany Allen, Mike Jensen, Josh Porter, Patrick Porter, and Tyler Hanns.

Rather than ruin the fun of these painful decisions, we’ll warn you that each time two choices are presented, it stands to reason that spoilers for those movies will follow. You will have a brief window to abandon ship if you fear the details that might arise after each save or kill option is introduced.

Additionally, there will be some minor or abstract spoilers for the Robocop and Total Recall remakes, the National Treasure franchise, and The Good Son.

You Hate Watchmen

We accuse critics and audiences alike of hating movies, for they did not fathom the greatness that is Zack Snyder's adaptation of Watchmen. 

Featuring: Abi Porter, Alex Rettmann, Josh Porter, Patrick Porter, Sarah Hanns, and Tyler Hanns.

Major spoilers for the graphic novel Watchmen and its subsequent film adaptation. Minor/abstract spoilers for: 300, 300: Rise of an Empire, the Simpsons episode "Husbands and Knives," Fight Club, Suckerpunch, Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga'Hoole, Saw, Frozen, Birdman, Captain America: The First Avenger, The Amazing Spider-Man 2, and Grey's Anatomy seasons 2, 3 and 5.

Ant-Man vs. Guardians of the Galaxy

Today we argue about which is the better obscure Phase 2 Marvel movie, Ant-Man or Guardians of the Galaxy. 

Featuring: Josh Porter, Patrick Porter, and Tyler Hanns.

Featuring major spoilers for all movies in the Marvel cinematic universe, as well as minor/abstract spoilers for: Pumping Iron, Saturday Night Live hosted by Chris Pratt, Interstellar, Chappie, Back to the Future, the Batman v. Superman trailer, Thomas the Tank Engine, Jurassic World, Star Wars Episode IV, Rocky, Honey I Blew Up the Kid, Inception, The Big Lebowski, and a McDonald's commercial.