You Hate Movies

Star Wars I: The Phantom Menace

A long time ago, on a podcast far, far away….

Today we begin our journey to Star Wars, Episode VII: The Force Awakens. The journey will be long, but adventure? Excitement? A Jedi craves not these things.

This week, we must somehow endure episode I: The Phantom Menace without succumbing to the dark side of the force.

Featuring: Abi Porter, Alex Rettmann, Josh Porter, Patrick Porter, Tyler Hanns, and Vanessa Porter.

Spoilers: The Star Wars Saga, Clerks, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, Jurassic Park, Dawn of the Planet of the Apes, Mad Max Fury Road, and the Full House character Stephanie Tanner. 

It Follows

This halloween we’re discussing David Robert Mitchell’s 2015 indie horror hit, It Follows. The film in questions deals with a group of young friends facing the consequences of loose sex. Consequently, some of the conversation on today’s episode is better suited for a grown-up audience.

Featuring: Josh Porter, Liam Gonnason, Patrick Porter, Peter Nikiforov, and Tyler Hanns.

Spoilers: It Follows, The Fly, The Human Centipede, House of Wax, Jeepers Creepers, Darkness Falls, Saw, The Hangover, The Babadook, The Strangers, The Shining, Hollow Man, Rise of the Planet of the Apes, Joy Ride, Shutter Island, Black Swan, Seven, George Romero’s Living Dead series, Alien, Halloween, Friday the 13th, A Nightmare on Elm Street, Inception, Munich, The Ring, The Prophecy, and Drive.

Back to the Future 3

Today we conclude our celebration of the Back to the Future trilogy with the third and final installment in the beloved time-travel franchise.

Featuring: Matt Hughes, Josh Porter, Josiah DePaoli, Liam Gonnason, Patrick Porter, and Tyler Hanns.

Spoilers: The entire Back to the Future trilogy, The Prestige, The Island of Dr. Moreau, Home Alone 1 & 2, The Parent Trap, Return of the Jedi, Coming to America, Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure and Bogus Journey, Looper, Rocky Balboa, The Simpsons Treehouse of Horror IV, and Stuart Little.

Back to the Future 2

This week we continue our celebration of Back to the Future by welcoming Marty McFly to October, 2015 with Back to the Future 2.

Featuring: Josh Porter, Josiah DePaoli, Patrick Porter, Peter Nikiforov, Tyler Hanns, and Whitney DePaoli. 

Spoilers: The Back to the Future Trilogy, Super Mario Brothers, Children of Men, Home Alone 1 & 2, The Nutty Professor, Jack and Jill, Rocky II, Friday the 13th IV: The Final Chapter, Willard, Charlie’s Angels, Aliens, Alien 3, Gremlins 1 & 2, Bruce Almighty, and Jaws 19.

Back to the Future

It is October 2015, the month and year that Marty McFly himself sets down in the future. To welcome him, we’re revisiting the Back to the Future trilogy one movie at a time. In today’s episode, Robert Zemeckis beloved 1985 science fiction adventure, Back to the Future.

Featuring: Josh Porter, Josiah DePaoli, Mike Jensen, Patrick Porter, Sarah Hanns, and Tyler Hanns.

Spoilers: The Back to the Future trilogy, Terminator Genisys, Gremlins, Sapceballs, Hot Tub Time Machine, The Prestige, Forrest Gump, Jurassic Park, The Fly, The Wedding Singer, and the Back to the Future animated series. 

Save or Kill: Actors

We're playing Save or Kill once again, this time with like-named actors. Faced with two actors who share a first name, who would you save if it meant killing the other? Tom Hanks or Tom Cruise? Michael Fassbender or Michael Keaton? On and on the list goes.

Featuring: Bethany Allen, Josh Porter, Patrick Porter, Peter Nikiforov, and Tyler Hanns.

I'm afraid we've lost track of Spoilers. When we mention an actor's name, it stands to reason some spoilers for their films may follow.

The Visit / Best of Shyamalan

In this episode, we have two big items on our agenda: First, to argue out our reaction to M. Night Shyamalan’s new found-footage horror flick The Visit. Secondly, we rank M. Night Shyamalan’s films from best to worst. If you haven’t made it out to see The Visit just yet, you may want to skip to 38:45, at which point we move on from major spoilers for The Visit and keep things more general.

Featuring: Garrett Holmes, Josh Porter, Patrick Porter, and Tyler Hanns

Major Spoilers: The Visit (until 38:45), The Sixth Sense, Unbreakable, Signs, The Village, Lady in the Water, The Happening, and After Earth.

Mild/Abstract Spoilers: Seven Pounds, Black Swan, The Dark Knight, Chronicle, Night of the Living Dead, The Strangers, The Wizard of Oz, The Blair Witch Project, Cannibal Holocaust, Cloverfield, Crazy Heart, The Amityville Horror, The Ring, The Grudge, It Follows, Stuart Little, The Empire Strikes Back, Rosemary’s Baby, The Exorcist, Saw, Paranormal Activity, Friday the 13th, the Netflix original series Daredevil, the novel I Am Legend, and only minor spoilers for The Last Airbender, because none of us actually saw it.  

Best of Christopher Nolan

We have tasked a committee with the harrowing challenge of ranking director Christopher Nolan’s filmography from best to worst.

Featuring: Abi Porter, Bethany Allen, Josh Porter, Mike Jensen, Patrick Porter, and Peter Nikiforov.

Major Spoilers: The entire Christopher Nolan filmography.

Abstract & Minor Spoilers: Total Recall, Flight of the Navigator, American Psycho, American Hustle, Reign of Fire, The Machinist, Prometheus, Gravity, Juno, Shutter Island, Godzilla (2014), Jurassic World, Up, Friday, Selma, The Muppet Christmas Carol, Children of Men, Buried, All is Lost, Phone Booth, Chappie, and Zangief from Street Fighter 2. 

Summer Box Office Results

At the beginning of May, we focused on our annual tradition of attempting to predict the top 10 highest grossing movies of the summer. The summer movie season is over, the results are in, and the winner is not who we expected.

Featuring: Abi Porter, Bethany Allen, Josh Porter, Patrick Porter, and Peter Nikiforov.

Spoilers: Mad Max: Fury Road, San Andreas, Straight Outta Compton, Ant-Man, Pitch Perfect 1 & 2, Mission: Impossible 1-4, Minions, Inside Out, Avengers: Age of Ultron, Jurassic World, The Dark Knight, The Empire Strikes Back, Phase 2 of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, Fern Gully, Star Wars Episode 7, Avatar, Honey I Shrunk the Kids, Jurassic Park, Bridesmaids, Super 8, Wall-E, The Incredibles, Finding Nemo, and Big Hero 6.

Alien vs. Prometheus

While you’re enjoying today’s episode, do yourself a favor and pay youhatemovies.com a special visit! We’ve launched an all new website where you can peruse our helpful episode guide, check out bonus content, comment, explore profiles for our hosts and contributors, even suggest an argument for an upcoming episode! 

Our social media presence is also in full swing for those of you who don’t hate movies. Join us on twitter and instagram @youhatemovies, or on facebook.com/youhatemovies 

As for this episode, we’re celebrating Ridley Scott by getting mad at Ridley Scott. In our midst we have Alien enthusiasts and Prometheus detractors, as well as a few Prometheus apologists. Will this ongoing debate over the logic and quality of prometheus ever be put to bed? I think you’ll agree we settle things quite nicely.

Major Spoilers: The Alien franchise (including Prometheus). 

Minor or Abstract Spoilers: Splinter, Mission to Mars, Men in Black, Star Trek: Into Darkness, The Terminator, The Lorax, The Jungle Book.

Feel like we’re overlooking a quality argument? Suggest an episode at youhatemovies.com