You Hate Movies

10 Cloverfield Lane: A tense and scary claustrophobic thriller, or an hour and a half of being confused by the fact that the word Cloverfield is in the title?

Featuring: Bethany Allen, Matt Hughes, Josh Porter, Patrick Porter, Tyler Hanns.

Spoilers: Cloverfield, X-Men: Days of Future Past, Prometheus, Signs, The Hills Have Eyes, The Fly, District 9, Independence Day, Night of the Living Dead, Evil Dead, The Mist, the Richard Matheson novel I am legend, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Rossane, Breaking Bad season 1 episode 2, the Nine Inch Nails video for “Only,” and Cannibal Airlines. 

In 2008 the world was shook by a mysterious ad campaign leading hordes of movie goers into theaters to experience the explosive found footage kaiju masterpiece; Matt Reeves’ Cloverfield. Or, is it a chaotic mess that should come with a complementary does of dramamine? 

Featuring: Bethany Allen, Matt Hughes, Josh Porter, Patrick Porter, Tyler Hanns.

Spoilers: That Thing You Do, Cannibal Holocaust, The Blair Witch Project, Hostel, A Serbian Film, Scary Movie, Paranormal Activity, Project X, Chronicle, [REC], the pilot episode of Lost, both the 1998 and 2014 American Godzilla films, Super 8, Pitch Black, Gremlins, Signs, Jaws, and Alien.    

In the mid-90’s, Eric Roth wrote a screenplay that wowed audiences around the world; The script that became Robert Zemeckis’ Forrest Gump. In the late 2000’s, Eric Roth sort of wrote that screenplay again; the script that became David Fincher’s The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. So which one is better?

Featuring: Garrett Holmes, Matt Hughes, Mike Jensen, Josh Porter, Patrick Porter, Sarah Hanns, Tyler Hanns.

Spoilers: Forrest Gump, The curious Case of Benjamin Button (both the films and the novel and short story from which they were adapted), Super 8, E.T., Flight of the Navigator, Apollo 13, Back to the Future, Fight Club, Inglourious Basterds, 12 Monkeys, Panic Room, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, The Terminal, You’ve Got Mail, Sleepless in Seattle, and That Thing You Do.

Which Academy Award winning film would you save if it meant killing the other? The Revenant or Birdman? Braveheart or Titanic? In this grueling round of save or kill, what Oscar-winners will survive and what will be left of them?

Featuring: Alla Nikiforov, Abi Porter, Josh Porter, Patrick Porter, Peter Nikiforov, Tyler Hanns.

Spoilers: When you hear movie options presented on the Save or Kill chopping block, it stands to reason that spoilers will follow. Also, we managed to completely spoil both The Departed and Burn After Reading, so watch out.

Deadpool: The satisfying conclusion to every fan’s burning anticipation, or a bit too much? Join our hardcore Deadpool fans and our open-minded newcomers as we debrief our first impressions.

Featuring: Liam Gonnason, Matt Hughes, Josh Porter, Patrick Porter, and Tyler Hanns.

Spoilers: Deadpool (both the Tim Miller film and the Marvel comics title), the X-men movie franchise, Scary Movie 2, Guardians of the Galaxy, Ant-Man, Punisher: War Zone, Blade Trinity, Taxi Driver, Fight Club, Breaking Bad, Man of Steel, Transformers, Iron Man 2, Transporter Refueled, and Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.

Join us as we explore the most exciting and/or dumb movie news from February, 2016 . When will there be more Transformers movies? Who will play the Invisible Man? What’s the latest flick to be endorsed by the Satanic Temple? The answers—as well as our expert opinions—await you.

Featuring: Liam Gonnason, Matt Hughes, Josh Porter, and Patrick Porter.

Spoilers: Chappie, The Batman v. Superman trailers, the Transformers franchise, School of Rock, Iron Man 3, Terminator: Genisys, that one Sia music video with Shia Labeouf, Avengers: Age of Ultron, Hollow Man, Back to the Future, Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland, Dumber and Dumber To, Ernest Cline’s novel Ready Player One, Public Enemies, Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Prometheus, Deadpool, Guardians of the Galaxy, The Wolverine, World War Z, Austin Powers, the Predator franchise, That 70’s Show, Ocean’s 11, Ocean’s 12, and Spider-Man 3.

A family estranged from one another by space travel and relativity—which movie does it better? Today we pit Christopher Nolan’s Interstellar against the 1986 epic Flight of the Navigator.

Featuring: Bethany Allen, Josiah DePaoli, Josh Porter, Matt Hughes, Patrick Porter, Peter Rollo, and Tyler Hanns.

Spoilers: Interstellar, Flight of the Navigator, The Goonies, Explorers, Terminator 2, Hook, Moonrise Kingdom, Tree of Life, That 70’s Show, Les Misérables, The Dark Knight Rises, 2001: A Space Odyssey, Lost in Space, Back to the Future, Mad Max: Fury Road, The Martian, Sunshine, Moon, and Apollo 13.

Alejandro G. Iñárritu’s The Revenant. A complex, visionary masterpiece deserving of all the acclaim, or a pretty decent movie with a somewhat flat story bogged down in hype? Today our Revenant-enthusiasts are doing battle with our hosts who think it was just pretty good.

Featuring: Garrett Holmes, Josh Porter, Matt Hughes, Patrick Porter, and Tyler Hanns.

Spoilers: The Revenant, and the Michael Punke novel on which it was very loosely based. Babel, 21 Grams, Birdman, Multiplicity, Up, the Pixar short Lava, Water World, Apocalypse Now, Gremlins, The Exorcist, Russian Ark, Rope, Children of Men, Avatar, Pocahontas, Fern Gully, the Indiana Jones series, Star Wars: The Phantom Menace, Die Hard, Columbo, Romeo and Juliet, The Dark Knight Rises, Ex Machina, Star Wars: The Force Awakens, About Time, Frank, Tree of Life, Thin Red Line, The Master, Interstellar, Dawn of the Planet of the Apes, I Am Legend, Mad Max: Fury Road, The Evil Dead, and the Weird Al song, “Smells Like Nirvana.”

In this episode, join us in the You Hate Movies Thunderdome, as we pit beloved movie characters, one-by-one, in in a brutal, all-out battle to the death. Today’s Thunderdome: Movie Robots. Could Ultron defeat a Terminator T-800? Could Interstellar’s TARS destroy Big Hero 6’s Baymax? Root for your favorite robots in the Thunderdome!

Featuring: Patrick Porter, Peter Rollo, and Josh Porter

Spoilers: Short Circuit 1 & 2, the Terminator franchise, The Matrix, X-Men: Days of Future Past, Wall-E, Batteries Not Included, Aliens, the Star Wars saga, Ex Machine, The Stepford Wives, Avengers: Age of Ultron, Robocop, Real Steel, the Transformers franchise, Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla, The Iron Giant, Pacific Rim, Chappie, Prometheus, A.I., Total Recall, Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey, Interstellar, Big Hero 6, and The Muppets. 

Maestro of dialogue and profanity, master of emotion and splatter, exploitation aficionado and b-movie film geek auteur: Today we rank the films of Quentin Tarantino. Before that, we’ll talk about the alleged 70mm film revival and whether or not it matters.

Featuring: Liam Gonnason, Matt Hughes, Josh Porter, Patrick Porter, and Tyler Hanns.

Spoilers: Every film in Quentin Tarantino’s filmography, The Master, Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, Clerks, District 9, Cocoon, Seven, Planet Terror, Star Wars: Episode IV, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990), 3 Ninjas, and Surf Ninjas.